Random Trip: Last Day
Johnston Gets Married!

Oh come on... you all knew that if it was going to happen, it was probably going to happen in Vegas.

It all started as I was making my way out of my hotel to go to the airport shuttle bus. As I was loading my suitcase into the back compartment, a woman came around to the back where I was. She had long, wavy dark hair, fair complexion, and striking features. What was most striking about her, however, was that she was roughly five-foot... well, nothing. And she was lugging around a backpack that was roughly four-foot tall.

"Good lord, who's in the backpack? You can just buy them a bus ticket instead of sending them through cargo...."

"Actually, it's just full of the towels and other stuff I stole from the hotel room."

So naturally, we sat together on the bus. She was an English lass backpacking across America, which took her through Vegas. Many of us have, or would like to, backpack across Europe. If you've ever wondered about where Europeans backpack across, now you know.

We regailed each other of stories of our experiences in Vegas. She told me about a musical comedy she watched the night before, starring David Hasselhoff. My eyes widened, this was taking a turn for the worse, I thought.

"Oh yeah... what was that like?"

"Quite inspiring, actually."

"You're kidding..." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Nope. I was inspired to have a nap, right in the middle of the theatre."

Dry wit. Love at first sight.

"So was there anything you didn't get to do in Vegas that you wanted to?"

"Well, I wish I would have got a chance to see one of those cheesy Las Vegas weddings."

"Those are so cool... I went to one once a few years ago. They were married by Elvis. You should have seen it. 'Do you take this hunka-hunka burning love to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise never to step on his blue suede shoes?'"

"That's hilarious. I wish I was there."

"Well, why worry about someone else's? Wanna get hitched?"

"What?"

"Sure! We still have a few minutes before we get to the airport."
At this point I turn to the rest of the people on the bus.

You may have noticed that if you get on a plane or a bus, there is no one talking to each other. That particular flight back, there was over 200 people on the plane, and never more than two conversations that I wasn't involved in.
Thinking about it now, that may be another contributing factor as to why Canada/America's failed marriage rate is around 50%.

Think about this: unless you believe that you can be a compatible mate for pretty much anybody, then the number of potential "good matches" for you must be a certain percentage of the "possible matches" you meet. (Don't worry, there's no equations, or tests on this afterward.)

The ratio itself doesn't really matter. It may be 1 match is "good" out of every 3 "possibles", 1:5, 1:10, even 1:100. But whatever it happens to be, you are *much* more likely to be able to meet, identify, and attract a "good" match out of the "possibles" if you acquire skills at meeting, communicating, and socializing with people.

And as with any skill, you are not born with it. You did not pop out of the womb able to ride a bicycle. Some people do pick it up faster than others, but we all learned it in one way. Practice, practice, practice.

To me, strangers are great for that.
But to my more immediate context, that means that if you have a lot of people studiously avoiding talking to each other, and me speaking at that certain volume I tend to speak at when I'm having fun (I like to share), you tend to have a lot of listeners.


"Do we have a minister or a justice of the peace on the bus?"

"Sure, I'm a minister." He may have even been one for all I know. But I doubt it, he was laughing too hard.

"Will you marry us?"

"OK. I now pronounce you man and wife."

Golf claps from the other passengers on the bus. I shit you not.

"You may kiss the bride."

Maybe there *was* something to this "Getting married in Vegas" thing after all! Come to think of it, I really should have tipped the "minister".

So when it was time to get off the bus, I had asked the "padre" for a quick annulment.

"No way, pal! I want a divorce, I'm gonna get half your stuff!"

"You know that means I'm going to get half of those towels in your backpack.."

"Yeah, come to think of it, maybe an annulment is best... those are some really nice towels."

As I stepped off the bus, I turned to say goodbye. She looked at me, winked, and yelled back at me:

"I never want to see you again!"

From married to single again in less than 10 minutes. Britney Spears would be proud.

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