Random Trip: Day
Five
Interesting Things I've Noticed About Arizona
In the 75% of the lower bowl of the Coyotes game that I could see, there
were 2 Winnipeg Jets
Jerseys. I tried to start a "Go, Jets, Go!" chant, but the crowd just
wasn't buying it.
Wearing (poorly) concealed weapons is not a big deal around here. Even in
bars.
Obviously, logic dictates that it's best if the gun-toters in the crowd
are drunk. They're less likely
to hit you when they aim at you.
Drinking and driving is also not a big deal here. There are drive-thru
Margarita stands down
here. But hey, if you have drunks with guns, might as well give them
cars, too. It'll be
even harder to shoot you if they're doing 55 when they aim at you!
I've changed my mind. I like George Dubya now. He's sent the US economy
into such a
nosedive, I actually get good value for my dollar now!
They have woodpeckers down here, too. Instead of trees, they burrow into
the cactii here,
instead. It's good to see that nature will always be able to adapt, even
if humans refuse to.
The parking lot for the Phoenix airport is bigger than the town I grew up
in. Then again, so
are it's bathrooms.
When you're trying to hail a cab when there's 20,000 people in the parking
lot, there's no
such thing as a reservation. Go ahead and steal someone's cab, because
someone probably stole
yours. Cabbies are actually grateful that they can get out of
there.
Practical tip:
The name of the person they're supposed to pick up is on the bottom left
corner of their
little screen.
Karma Tip: Before you steal someone's cab, order
one for yourself,
so they can steal yours, and the circle of life can continue.
In America you have to be:
25 years old to rent a car
21 years old to drink
18 years old to die in the army
15 years old to get paid to get 7/8 naked, and wave pom-poms. In a
ice rink.
Am I the only one that thinks that's just a little f***ed up?
The elderly are generally much cooler than we give them credit
for.
Case in point:
Phoenix Coyotes game. I've lucked out and managed to get a seat five rows
behind the benches,
beside a few fellow Penguin fans.
I'm very loud at hockey games. (Hopefully) not drunken idiocy, but
wisecracks and (hopefully)
funny jokes for people around me. You may have noticed I love making
people smile. The more they laugh
at my antics, the sillier I get. It's one way I
have fun at games. Negative or no response, I shut up. I know to clam up
when I'm not
wanted. But the response had been good this game. Very good.
Fast forward. Penguins power play, opposite end from where we're sitting.
It's hard to see.
Enter the Coyote's mascot, Willy. (Will E. Coyote, yuk, yuk, groan.) On
this occasion,
Willy had donned a Batman costume.
"Hey Steve, check it out, why d'you think he's wearing a
Batman
costume?"
"French maid costume was probably still at the dry cleaners."
You know, quality stuff.
Then Willy came down in front of us, blocking our view of the action.
This is where I crossed
the line.
"Hey Batman! Shouldn't you be chasing after young boys in
spandex or
something? Down in front!"
As I finish saying that, I look down. Below me, are two large heads of
hair. Very, very grey
sets of hair.
I turn a darker shade of purple than Gretzky was sporting, and he was down
6-2 at this
point.
"Oh my God, ladies! I'm sooo sorr.."
At this point, I'm leaning further in, so I can see their faces. And when
I saw them, those
two faces couldn't have had bigger smiles on them.
I know my Mom would say that I guess I should have learned my lesson. And
I did,
absolutely.
Go ahead and enjoy yourself.
You never know who could be
enjoying you,
too.
I think I got something different out of that than Mom would
have. Sorry Mom.
;)
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